Tuesday, January 19, 2010

When Nookie comes-a-calling....

Recently a friend of mine (who shall be known as Miss X here for P&C purposes) had just gone thru some mid-life crisis shit..yah yah yah...I was there before...but hers was a different sort...errr...more sexual & physical related..*ok ok this is gonna be a PG 18 blog*...(so to those of you under 18 reading this, pls get your parental consent!*)

Anyway, moving into her early 40's....u know lah ..women at that age starts to think of the following:

*my breasts are inching towards my toes*

*i am getting sex once in 2 months*...DEFINITELY NOT A GOOD SIGN...after all sex IS another form of workout!

*i need a nip/tuck job every-freaking-where!*

*someone ...plzzzz recommend a fantasbulous plastic surgeon*

*crow-feet? what crow-feet???*

*how lah to fight with the younger chicks???*

Anyway, u get the big picture...this list can grow and grow...so Hammy 2 and Hammy 3 (who by the way are experts when it comes to men, slutting etc etc) decided that X should be heading towards Cougarism..aha!Think Demi Moore and Ashton..yup. So anyway, after much practice, X hooked up with couple of young guys (*pretty impressive I must say...WELL DONE X!*)...she's been much happier lately, not so nnggiauuuuuuu..phew! But being who Miss X is - ambitious, domineering, OCD, Melancholic...there were obviously couple of time when these young cuckoos were trying to hook up with her, but somehow it never quite seem to work out cos of the kind of stupid responses she gives. So I ran some of these questions by Hammy 2 and Hammy 3 and these were the kind of responses you would expect from my 2 best friends:

SMS FROM CUCKOO 1: Hi babe! how have you been? What is yr schd like tmw?

RESPONSE FR MISS X: *opens her schedular to check* ...does not respond till like some freaking 5 hours later...bird would have left the cuckoo's nest!

Hammy 2 would have said : Now! Meet you at my place in 20 mins! *giggles*

Hammy 3 would have said: Pls call my Emily (*Emily=Secretary*), to fix an appointment, and next time , pls don't ask at the last minute.

SMS FROM CUCKOO 2: Hi sweetie, long time no see? U free tmw or perhaps soon...:-)

RESPONSE FR MISS X: Can't meet, got plans for gym. Let me check if next week is good. Will let u know

Hammy 2 would have said : Now! Meet you at my place in 20 mins! *giggles*

Hammy 3 would have said : No mood! got con call at 11pm !

Well, I guess it all depends on how important one places sex in their life. Some look at it as the highest priority, some will do with just a couple in a year!...or for some ..."Sex?...huney..it's been a desert phase for the longest time..and not missing it!"

Anyhow, it does not really matter how we look at it as long as we all get some...soon...hopefully..in the near future perhaps...in the galaxy not far away...

No matter what or who you do...remember Durex, ok...:-)

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