Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Just some gentle reminders

Good morning beautiful people! Did any of you just wake up from some dream,nightmare or maybe flashbacks of your life…hehehe. I know I did….As this Psycho Bitch would say wisely…”every dream, nightmare or flashbacks are a reflection of your life past, present and maybe future…”…hmmmm..ok that was a tad too deep for this morning. Someone, plzzzz bring me my kopi!

Gearing into mid life crisis wave 2 certainly brought back some memories good and bad. Maybe it is my sub-conscious self trying to send me a message as to why I should NOT be diving into Wave 2…”oh how fast you forget..what are you, some kind of Mistress of Pain?”…Yes, I have had my momentous flashbacks last couple of days that’s made its way into my REM moments…aaaaarrgghhh! These interesting flashbacks are gentle reminders to people like me why I should stay sane and not be a Psycho Bitch:

Flashback 1: Attempting to cycle and run in my first triathlon

This was the Tasik Kenyir International Triathlon 2008. Good thing I had Hammy 2 with me at that time. I was scared shit, I had a busted knee before, at 38 years old trying to Tri…hmmmm. Night before, got myself all checked and perked up for the big race. Morning came, woke up early had my bananas and power bar, walked a good 2 km to the starting line - was a good warm up already!

When my swimmer went in to the lake, I was that close in going MIA. But nooooo, this Psycho Bitch had to prove a point. Before I know it, swimmer was out of water (damn the boy is fast! Couldn’t he have taken his time and enjoy the cool lake water?).So, off I went on my bike for a grueling 40km up and down hills, big, steep and small ones! Happy as I was when I FINALLY finished my bike ride, only to my dismay that I still had 10km run to go for….BUT never fear, Hammy 2 was running with me, it’s a girl thing…we must do stuffs together..so off the 2 Hammies went..thinking how hard can this get, really?

Oh, WE WERE SO WRONG! For the heat got to us, it was hilly and our legs were refusing to take another step as the kilometers started to clock in. But being what we are, we took every stride with pride and at the 5th km mark, I turned to Hammy 2 :

ME: Eh woman, u ok ah? My knees are fucking painful…my age clearly showing lah! Remind me again – why am I doing this stupid thing?

HAMMY 2: ok I dunno why you are doing it and NOW it is not the time to question that! Just damn hot and we should have trained better for tis lor…so how ah..give up now???NOOOOOO, DIE DIE MUST FINISH! (2 male runners ran past us and clapped to cheer us on…”don’t give up ladies! You can do it!”)

ME: I don’t need cheerleaders now! Can someone plzzzz shut those 2 up! Of course we will bloody finish this! No, we cannot give up now, malu lah whey! Errr…… Btw, did you bring the Glucosamine? I am gonna down the whole bloody bottle of it when we get back! My knees!!!!!

HAMMY 2: *silent*……*laughs so loudly*…that I swear even Kelantan can hear her

Yes, my first attempt at trying to prove a point about reaching mid-age. I was still strong physically and mentally. And truly I still am, cos I have been racing ever since for the last 2 years and enjoying every moment of it

Flashback 2: Too much work CAN drive you nuts, literally

I am having a freaking heart attack?!!” That was exactly what I was thinking when it happened. I was stuck in a stupid dumb fuck jam along Jalan Damansara that fateful morning. Quickly and as calmly as possible, I inched my way into Petronas station. Heart rate picked up even more, hands were numb, cold sweat breaking out….”tis is it. I am gonna die right here in a bloody petrol station? NOT GLAMOROUS!!” My attempts to reach every living being on my mobile proved futile, cos it was only 930am and no one was at work yet! “ok , chill woman. You won’t die. You have a purpose on this earth, whatever that maybe. You have not even slept with Harrison Ford yet! Ok, calm, breathe, in, out, in, out, in……” And I started to breathe easier.

What was that all about? It is true, work can drive you nuts, people. After many check-ups with doctors and physicians, a psychologist finally concluded I was suffering from Panic Attacks (which by the way is another form of depression caused by intense stress and no rest and trying to do wayyyyyy too much!)!

“WTF? What is that? I am a strong woman. I can’t be suffering from any depression.”

I was put on 1 year of ‘happy pills’, and 2x/week visits to the quack.

“Nope. I don’t want this life. There is so much out there to do and live. Screw the BIG BIG BIG agency and monies. And, yes I still want to sleep with Harrison Ford!”

It’s been 2 years since. No more panic attacks. I have never felt fitter, prettier and stronger than I do now.

I am glad to say this to ALL women out there….”don’t let age stop you. Don’t let mid-life crisis or anyone stop you from doing what you want. Reaching mid-life merely means a chance to finally do what YOU have always dreamed of, partly cos you would have more money hopefully by then and free up your time. Life is not governed by the 9-5, don’t go crazy over work. It is not worth it. Just bloody date every young man you desire, enjoy the wolf-whistles, wear the lowest V neck cos you can, eat as much chocolate as you’d like to, forget about the wrinkles, laugh with your girlfriends. If you worry, you would have just wasted the beginning of something new in your life!”


  1. No more panic attacks....YET.
    Better watch that throphy case....it's already full, M :P

  2. Finally! You gave in and wrote a blog!

  3. good to see you blogging =)