Tuesday, February 2, 2010

GPS ...all systems GO!

GPS..a very interesting gadget! Almost everyone alive I know, has one..or two..depending on how many cars you drive. Everyone .....except yours truly! *yah yah yah...u must be thinking what age are you in woman??* One almost wonder how the bloody-fucking-hell did our parents/grandparents/ancestors got around those days without one of this?? Did they rely on the stars to guide them? perhaps insticntively they knew? or maybe even sniffed their way around?

But I have pretty much gotten around without it ever since its 'inception'..and I am doing fine...I think..altho Hammy 3 would beg to differ. I did tell Hammy 3 that I find GPS very boring..it is monotonous, very dull, too proper (as in perfect English). * I can so see Hammy 3 rolling his eyes*

But can you imagine if you get to design your own GPS..ie you get to choose whose voice, what language, what to say, what NOT to say..wouldn't that be interesting???

And, of course I can so imagine Hammy 2's GPS :

HAMMY 2's GPS ( Professional, of non-chinese descendant, vaguely Indian, think of the small island just below India) - Her GPS will definitely be of multiple male voice...not ONE...Imagine this when Hammy 2 gets into the car:

GPS : Good morning Hot Bunny...*loud lip smacking sound follows*
Hammy 2: Hi Hottie..*attempts to key in destination*
GPS : Are you done playing with my buttons?
Hammy 2 : Give me some time Hottie..am having trouble figuring which button to press...you have so many! *Knowing Hammy 2...she will just call Hammy 3 for help*

Hammy 3 : What do you mean you can't key in the destination? You made the GPS! ...oohhh..btw, is yr GPS 'happy'?*he he he*

Personally, wouldn't it be great to have GPS that could potentially say these:

*Turn right, u moron!
*Are you that stupid? Can't you spell the location correctly??
*Hey, isn't that your FB's place? ah..naughty, naughty!
*Don't test my patience. Quickly key in the bloody destination
*I am NOT taking you there. It's below my standard! And you are so not fucking make me go there
*Lights ahead. Slow down ...slow down..SLOW DOWN..NOW NOW NOW!!!!....(CRASH!!!BOOMZ BANG!)
*Ok woman...handbag (CHECK), wallet (CHECK), adjust mirror to apply lipstick (DONE),Hair check, put mirror back in place, safety belt on, gears checked, release hand break, press ACCELERATOR..
*Check out driver in car next to you...very hotzzzz
*Wah lau eh...what perfume did u use this morning??? *cough cough sneeze sneeze*

Yes, the wonders of Global Positioning System..hahaha...I think I got that right! for some one who is i-Duh..if only they would allow us to create our own GPS...choose your favourite voice-over, the tonality, the type of words to use..even maybe, just maybe..the colours..OMG...can you imagine a rainbow colour GPS!!! *wink wink Hammy3*

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