To go Down or not to go Down....

Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! We all go thru it every freaking minute of our waking hour!

Well, that was exactly one of those moments for CW, one of my cougar friend. Apparently her Cub (her much much younger mate), will be transferred to Aussie land for couple of months. Hence, this call last night:

CW: Eh woman, that fella will be transferred lah for few months…guess where?

ME: Where? Tell tell!

CW: Bloody down under! Think is Melbourne…what-the-fark!!! There goes my sex life with him!

ME: m thinking…hmmm *Aussie land? Hot surfer dudes! Tan bods with 6 abs! woohooo*

CW: Woman! Snap out of it! I know what you are thinking! So how now? I won’t get to see him for few months, but he’s asked me to visit him tho…..kinda like dirty kinky weekends every now and then…*laughs sneakily*

ME: And the problem with that is…….? Go lah…that boy had asked you to go..what the hell is your problem?

CW: Errr…wouldn’t it possibly make me look like some sort of ‘call-girl’??

ME: Honey, YOU are the Cougar! Just go for some dirty weekend, and furthermore, not like u can’t bloody afford the trip

CW: hmmm…. Is not the money…just don’t want to seem too DESPERATE!

ME: Ha??don’t want to seem to desperate?? Are u soooo kidding me? YOU? NOT DESPERATE??..Oh God help us!

Yah, so dear CW has not quite decided at the end of our conversation. Anyhow, CW, if you are reading this, just go have fun, enjoy the boy (literally, away from home-ground!)…and like I have said before “Wear the Paw with Pride!”

p/s: err…if u do decide to go, while u are there, do check out some hot surfer Aussie dudes for us back at home, yah…*winky*

No underwear, plzzzz!

What a farking painful weekend it was! And pretty hilly one too! Yah, this psycho bitch went on her second 21km run at the recent Energizer Night Run last Saturday, with my running mate YK. (note: it IS YK’s first 21km run but YK is an athlete and plays basketball..pretty fit with very good hot bods, great VO2Max, blah blah blah..u get the drift!)

But anyway, I get asked why do I torture myself by doing shit like this and triathlons. I mean after all, at my age, I should be lazing by some pool side resort sipping margaritas, with young cubs. Nahhh…I like the thought of being a 41 yo pushing the boundaries and physical limits (in many other ways too!).

Despite that, it is during these runs/race that reminds me…yet again of the many reasons why I should be dialing back. This run in particular did not start off well from the beginning; as I work through the sequence of events in my head, leading to that night:

My training for 21km was shortened by easily 4 weeks, instead of getting my regular 8 weeks periodization ….due to work that picked up (say it : I luv my clients! They pay my bills!)

As race date drew nearer, work piled up more + rpm classes which I was teaching piled up too..(next time PB shld learn to say NO to covering classes!)

On race night, we arrived at start line 3 mins late..cos the freaking shuttle bus that was supposedly to have taken us to the start line, decided to take us on a tour of freaking Cyberjaya. So, what was supposed to be only a ‘short ride’ (as claimed by the organizers), turned out to be a 40 minutes bus tour!

U can imagine having started 3 mins late, this PB and YK just RAN for our lives and I swear, our heart rate just shot up all the way to the bloody skies….

And bcos this is the first time YK was running with me, think there were many of my funny behaviours which he wasn’t quite used to, such as these:

YK: Eh..woman..can u pls slow down the pace! We DO NOT need to chase the pack in front!

ME:BUT BUT, we are late! Damn it!! Quick pick up your pace LOL!

YK: We promised ourselves to enjoy the race, not kill ourselves!! AND can u pls stop looking at that stupid heart rate monitor watch of yours!!!!

ME:I can’t bloody function without it lah!!!Wait..slow slow..heart rate too high too high..PULL BACK! PULL BACK!

YK: Throw that bloody watch away!!! U can do tis without it!

Yes, and u can all imagine this going on for the rest of the run! AND, after grueling 17^th km …most of us were really at the brink of “why the hell are we doing this again” “we shld be at home watching Glee!”….or “damn my hamstrings are painful”, “can’t feel my legs”…but this particular line from YK really takes the cake, at least for me lah:

ME: Eh!! Hamstrings damn painful…cramping up!!!

YK: I am painful elsewhere lah *has a look of discomfort on his face*

ME: Where??!!! U ok kah??

YK: *whispers to me* ..got pain between my groins! Underwear too TIGHT!!

ME: *slaps my forehead* …HAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Aha! Funny things do happen at races, not all is about pain. It is moment like those that keeps you going…and yes, for the rest of the 3km, although it was painful, YK managed to lightened up those 3km and we made the best out of it, by truly enjoying the moments of running together and not stressed about how we started late, and having to chase or not having been able to train properly!

Special dedication to a friend...

Mortality or immortality? “Enjoy life while it lasts??”, “Appreciate those around you”, “learn to forgive and let it go”

Yes, u may be wondering why I am sounding errr not-so-psycho today. Well, coincidentally today is the 25^th anniversary of EL..the passing of EL that is. She passed on when we were in Form 4, yah tender age of 16, of cancer. We were good friends and I still think we are.

We knew each other whilst in Standard 2, in the bus that we took to school. We knew each other through punching one another, literally – cos we were fighting for that one particular seat…right behind the driver! Somehow, I don’t know what happened and how it happened, we just became good friends.

We would hang out at her house every Friday after school, whilst waiting for my dad to come pick me up. She’s always been a very active girl – we use to play hop-scotch every recess time, she loved netball, and definitely an avid reader….thanks to her, that was how I started my love for reading. And I will never forget our love for the game of ‘Five Stones’…she will always beat me at it!!

Not till cancer struck her when we were in Form 1. There were times she would look like she was on the road to recovery, only to slip back into it again and again and again. Despite her sickness, she would continue to come to school whenever she could, and I remember what my mom used to tell me….”continue doing what you girls have always done. Nothing should change”….and so I would try to keep our routine when she was able to,even when she was stuck in the hospital… my parents will drop me off and EL and I will just read, laugh and attempt a few rounds of Five Stones!

Sadly, till today, there is only one thing I will never forget and am still trying to forgive myself for…was for the fact that I was not there, by her side when she made that final breath and left to go back to our Father.

“EL…you will always be a good friend, just like a sister. You have and always will have a place in my heart. Wherever you are right now, I know we will meet again soon.”

Brain Function...It is a Team effort!

Have you ever wondered if men are ALL the SAME? *doink…am not talking about their instruments LOL!* My mom once told me that “men will always be boys”. A recent telecon with Hammy 3 sparked this blog. (Background: Hammy 3 have been travelling quite a fair bit in the last 2 week; hence have been quite “ngiiauuuu” ( a terminology that Hammy 3 and I coined for: when not getting enough sex or the men/man for more than 2 days!); but anyway this telecon ensued:

HAMMY 3: B (her BF) and I had a fight yesterday!

ME: why lah! U just came back and want to fight meh?

HAMMY 3: HE DIDN’T SAY HE MISSED ME WHEN I WAS AWAY *Note the capitals*

ME: I am sure he did..errrmm, perhaps not the way YOU wanted it to be said??

HAMMY 3: *long silence over phone*….well…but..all he said was..”u back huh? Tired or not ah you?”

ME: *slaps my forehead*…WOMAN!!! That was HIM asking you how you are feeling after the long travel on work!!! *doink*

HAMMY 3: Oh..Oh…But he still should have said it the way I WANTED IT! HHHrrmmph!!!

Well, some would say….”Don’t men have any brains!” “Why can’t they be more sensitive?” “why can’t they have more FEELINGS?” “What is in that brain of theirs?”

Coincidentally, yes men do have brains, just like the gentler species. AHA! But dig this there are actually some differences; not in the structure but the usage and how it’s evolved. Did bit of research and found these interesting stuff about our brains (not a science lesson, ok). And PB thought it was quite apt when matched against the man and woman:

1)Men have “Reptilian Brains” or professionals call it “Hindbrain”

Reptilian brain is the oldest part of our brain *yup but that doesn’t mean we are any wiser LOL* Apparently is the most primitive and this is the best part…it is actually a piece of brain anatomy that we share with reptiles!!! (aha! So the saying is true “some men are snakes!”hahahahaha!)

Well, that explains why men were cavemen during Neanderthal times as the Reptilian Brain is in charge of primal instincts, survival and ……MATING!!!!! And now we shall wonder no more why men think of sex every 3 mins (that’s what I was told!)

2)Women have “Old Mammalian Brain” or “emotional brain”

This part of the brain evolved in the more primitive mammals about 150 million years ago. Apparently this is where emotions reside and where memory begins, also where unconscious value judgements are made. Information that goes through here are filed under “agreeable” or “disagreeable”…..Need I say more…..??

It is obvious both sexes are made to function differently although we have that same thing inside our skull. And I supposed we are always misunderstood why we behave the way we do! It’s all in the brains! And hence when we tell the guys..”use your brain!!”…well, they literally did…. hence are how they are…less-emo, and primal instincts take over. So, ladies next time when we tell the guys “use your brain”…think again..unless u just want them to focus on the MATING bit in the Hindbrain of theirs!

Nevertheless, just as how our brain function as a ‘team’, I supposed we have to learn to function as a ‘team’ with the opposite sex..cos it is our differences that makes life so bloody interesting!

I like Bears!

Yes! This PB have found something ‘orgasmic’ to play with…*no, it is not a man unfortunately*! I recently discovered the wonders of application games on I-Pod Touch. Thanks to Hammy 3 who recently acquired an I-Pod and have been ‘gay-ly’ (oops! I mean happily) downloading all kind of games and applications.

Well, in case some of you don’t know me; I get excited very very easily…. *PB’s definition of excited = jumping off seats, swearing, cussing, wild wave of hands*

Anyway, Hammy 3 downloaded this particular game call Air Bear on his I-Pod Touch, and trust me this game is bloody addictive, at least for me LOL. At the first Air Bear Game session with Hammy 3 :

HAMMY 3:Eh, got new game..want to play or not? Is called Air Bear. You are supposed to make sure the bear doesn’t fall all the way down. You do that by drawing a bridge, hit its nose on that bridge to bounce him back up. Eh, remember to collect the gold rings for extra life and avoid those orange burning thingy cos that takes its limbs away.

ME: I want …*rubs both hands with glee*

And boy oh boy, did Hammy 3 regret for teaching me this game, cos what happened thereafter has totally given Tourette Syndrome a new meaning, as I went completely psycho:

ME: What-the-stupid-fuck…I just hit the orange ring! OMG! Hammy 3…how how..how do I draw the damn bridge??? Damn it! Idiot!!!!Fuckity–fuck…I hit the damn orange thingy…aarrgghhh!!!!!

HAMMY 3: Use your middle finger to draw the bridge!!Your stupid nails too long…can’t draw properly lah

ME: I AM farking sweating playing this game…is like sex LOL! I forgot to strap on my heart rate monitor!!! Damn missed a chance to see how many calories we can burn with this game!

HAMMY 3: *slaps forehead*…I am ignoring you….

Yah! That was me and Air Bear. Mind you people, Hammy 3 actually recorded me playing the game and had it posted on HIS BLOG!!!!..Now the whole bloody world knows what a complete psycho and how bad I am at games.

But on the flip side, the medical profession could use that video to explain what Tourette Syndrome is cos PB just put it all in perspective with Air Bear! HHHHRRMMPH!

Where thou art..oh dearie..?

This is one of those days…am seated in my client’s office while I am typing this! And you may be wondering why? Aren’t I supposed to be having a meeting or listening to my client or presenting some shite?? Yes, I would love (yah! Right!) to be doing any of those, if ONLY my clients are anywhere in sight NOW! This is such a classic case of “Our meeting is at 9 am, I will see you then”.

I arrived at 845 am way before meeting time, sat in the conference room, happily setting up my presso aka presentation (in our advertising lingo..we just wanna sound different!), and waited and waited and waited…till 930 am…*where the hell are my clients??” “Have they gone to Timbuktu?” Yours truly here was losing patience, trods up to receptionist only to find out that my darling clients are actually in a meeting…just not mine!!!! LOL …*breathe PB, BREATHE …Count to 10…1…2…3….smiled at the receptionist and walked back to the conference room…* and hence this blog!!!! I WANNA BITCH!!!

Remind me again, friends, foes and family…why the HELL did I leave the industry again? *mind flips back to my first 2 blog entry*…WHY????!!!! Dealing with this situation like this is only one of the many many reasons why I left the industry, and why I didn’t want another burn-out..LOL!

But last 2 weeks have been hell with clients work picking up *trust me is a good problem to have..and you never say no to $$$*; but having to go through the similar cycle just reminded me way too much of my past life as an advertising dudette, amongst which were these:

1)WHAT TO WEAR TODAY?

After having run around in casual pants, tshirts and shirts, denim skirts since I left the ‘glam agency’ world, it was such a difficult task (trust me, planning for RPM classes is way much easier) when I had to put on a more corporate look cos of a particular client..*yes, unfortunately some clients think that if you are not dressed in Prada with Nine West or Jimmy Choo’s heels, then you are not smart..LOL*

Anyway, for once in 3 years, I actually forgot how to put on my make-up…hahahaa…I stared at my cosmetic stash for a good 15 mins before it all came back…

*ah…toner, moisturizer,

*cream foundation (damn am out of that one!), powder/2 way cake,

*eye-shadow (only to realize it had to somehow match my clothes…damn and I had not sorted the clothes out yet!)

*lipstick …even this must match my clothes and shoes…*oki…which Nine West…can’t decide till I sort my clothes first, can I!!! AAAAAARGGGHHH!!!!

2)PLANNING THE MEETING

This is always the more painful part of it..cos just when you think you had it all planned out..client can throw you off with any of these:

*Sorry, change brief (no no! not the underwear you doink!)…in our terminology, it means – “wrong direction, we briefed you wrongly, this was not what the boss wanted”

*Can we re-schedule our meeting. Just got a call to attend another meeting! *Farking hell..why can’t people stick to their schedule! Makes me wonder if they will say the same to sex?* (hehehe..I know Hammy 2 won’t!)

*OR in my case now…am still waiting for client……lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal*

Wait…my client is coming in! YAHOO!!!!.........................................................................

AARRGGHHHHH!!!!!! AM BACK here again!!!! Client just asked to be excused for another freaking 30 mins (which most of the time will = 1 hour) cos got another conference call!!!!

Breathe PB…IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN, OUT………..

*the day will end well

*the day will end well

*the day will end well…………..

Who says I am "Headmistress-sy"?

“Social-etiquette”, “social-respect”, “social-understanding”…..whatever or however you wanna call it.

Well, tis Psycho Bitch is a huge fan of making sure we have 100% social etiquette…no matter who we are, and who we meet or where we could be…and quite honestly…nothing irks this PB more than a complete lack of respect for others.*and no, I am NOT OCD*

Well, there are few incidences that really pisses me…so close that I could have told them off, if not for my 10-breather-patience count! These are some of my personal encounters:

1)Sweaty gym shoes are meant to stay on the bloody floor.

I never understood why is it that some people love to leave their worn, sweaty shoes on the benches in the changing room…they do realize that their shoes have gone to many many places…toilets inclusive..and trust me…u ALL know how wonderfully wet our toilets are..*glares*

2)Under-‘where’?

This is a classic one. I don’t know about some of you ladies, but I have personally come across worn, after-gym panties and bras …once again, on benches in the gym’s changing room, *what is the fetish with some people about leaving these things around* *really, I don’t think anyone wanna know what brands or how pretty they are!* so keep em where they are supposed to be….either in the bags or on yourself!

3)We all do it Sitting Down!

Hmmm…public toilets…I hate these places! I would hold my pee pee if I absolutely-farking have to…I mean really…have you ever realize how many ass-es we come in contact with on those toilet bowls?? So, please avoid doing it standing up or squatting ON the damn bowl!

4)Let our food ignite our senses

We all live in a cultural-rich country, food inclusive. We spend so much time with friends and family either eating out or entertaining at home. And this takes the cake for me, people eating with their legs crossed on the chair…mind you without their shoes!!! Aaarrrghhh…we honestly don’t want to know where those feet have been…we don’t need your ‘FOOT’ to ignite our senses during our makan time.

5)Some bodily fluid are NOT for sharing

Sale time is the best for us, women! Especially with signs like “Further markdown to 70%”…..we all throng like bee to huney. But I have come to realize one thing about sale…..especially in the ladies’ clothes department. I have at times, picked up a nice piece to try, only to realize…”why does it smell of sweat and wee bit damp at certain areas?”…EEEEWWWWWWW!!!

6)God gave us Sun for a reason!

Nothing beats this one, well, at least for me. People drying their wet sweaty personal items either in the locker of the gym changing room AND the sauna! And you can soooo imagine the kind of farking smell that greets you…..makes ‘ikan masin’ smell heavenly!

I am not being ‘headmistressy’…although Hammy 2 and Hammy 3 would beg to differ profusely…*LB, if you are reading this, I know exactly what you are thinking!!*

I choose to think I am NOT OCD

I am just particular about certain basic social etiquettes that we all must adhere to.

It is not innate, and it is not hard to learn the basic stuff! So, next time you are about to do ANY of those above, think again… if you were in the other person’s shoes. Hmmmm…but then again, some of you may not give a shit! So anyhow, we all have to learn to deal with it in our own ways….mine would be to BITCH about it here!

Do..Who..What..More??

I got a couple of calls from some of my girlfriends who had such a good time creating their combo of men they wanna “Do”, after reading my last “Do Who” blog.

You would be amazed with the sort of fantasies, we ladies have….*it is unbelievable, I tell you…what goes on in these head of ours…hehehe*

Well, I thought it would be cute to do kinda Part 2 to my “Do Who”..but with a little twist. And if you are reading this, you must must make a choice…heheheeee…tough ones too…some of them:

1) WHICH BATMAN WOULD YOU DO?

*George Clooney

*Val Kilmer

*Micheal Keaton

2) WHICH BOND WOULD YOU SO WANNA DO?

*Sean Connery…when he was young…*oh damn it! Even at his current age,I would do him huney!*

*Roger Moore

*Pierce Brosnan

3) WHICH (MORE) BOND WILL YOU DO?

*Sean Connery

*Daniel Craig

*Pierce Brosnan

4) AND MORE BOND COMBO AGAIN…LOL!

*Sean Connery!!!

*Pierce Brosnan

*Timothy Dalton

5) WHICH COMIC HERO WOULD YOU DO?

*Spiderman

*Superman

*Batman

6) WHICH XMEN CHARACTER WOULD WANNA X-ED?

*Wolverine….and hope those sharp claws doesn’t come out when he fingers someone…LOL

*Cyclops…errr, if anyone is doing him, pray that he doesn’t remove those glasses…else we will really be talking about hot sizzling sex!

*Angel

7) WHICH STAR WARS FORCE WOULD YOU DO?

*Darth Vader *not the young Anakin lol*

*Quai Gon Jin

*Yoda…hmmm tho I can’t imagine the size of his instrument given he is only about 2ft tall!!!! If you REALLY have to choose YODA, he better have a damn good Light Saber…..

And the ultimate question for everyone out there, this is gonna be the toughest to choose, I am telling you…get ready for this:

WHICH……..NINJA TURTLE WOULD YOU DO??? Will it be Mikey, Donny, Raphael, Leonardo…tough choice…I mean after all, they all look the same green colour…the only real difference are the eye-masks…provided they don’t switch it around! But more importantly…can you imagine how long they would take to CUM….????

Do who?

GB, LB and I had dinner last night and were just catching up on things, who’s dating who and who’s sleeping with who etc etc…and through-out dinner we were just talking about our love life, sex life *errr..not like all 3 of us are getting any..but aaaaaannnnnyywwayyy*…fantasies about who we’d do and of course we came with names such as Robert Downey Jr, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Johnny Depp…u get the drift. But we all do have different taste in men and how we like our men in bed.

Hence we came up with this few combo *think McD Happy Meal style and if we EVER get to combo them this way*. Anyway here goes…and guys, have fun with it and make your own combo if u’d like:

COMBO 1: Robert Downey Jr, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant

COMBO 2: Robert Downey Jr, Johnny Depp, Daniel Craig

COMBO 3: Hugh Jackman, Robert Downey Jr, Orlando Bloom

Combo 4: Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom

Combo 5: Hugh Jackman, Matthew Morrison, Gerard Butler

Combo 6: Chow Yuen Fatt, Tony Leung, Ken Watanabe…*errr..need I clarify that this combo came from LB!!!*

Combo 7: McSteamy, McDreamy, Gardener from Desperate Housewives!

Combo 8..THE ULTIMATE COMBO FOR ALL 3 OF US: Robert Downey Jr, Hugh Jackman, Chow Yuen Fatt!!!!

Combo 9..THE PENULTIMATE COMBO FOR GB and I: Everyone in Il Dilvo Group….*HAWT BABY!!!!They could sooo swoon us with those powerful baritone and can imagine them hitting the high notes when they cum…kekeke*

Yes, a little imagination would not hurt…at least we reckon if we are not getting the men we want, we’d might as well make up our dream team! Go ahead..make your own combo!

“It's no BIG secret that guys aren't the best at articulating what they're thinking..THAT is if they are ever thinking!” – those were the first thing that GB said when we caught up on MSN last night. *you can soooo tell she had a fight with her boyfriend!*

GB “U know ah..they rather not come out with the truth…….you're left with some stupid idiotic code to decipher! Damn it! Why can’t they just bloody say what’s in their farking head…and I mean the head btw the shoulders LOL!”

So GB and I were on MSN debating about why guys don’t really say what they wanna say, or they tend to dance around the bush (DOINK!NOT ‘that’ bush!), why they always say women are difficult…etc etc etc etc….

So GB and I came up with these most said phrases and what they really mean.

1. He Says: "We should hang out sometime."
He Means: "I'm afraid you'll say 'no' if I ask you out." OR “I like your boobies. And I wanna grab them soon”

2. He Says: "I'll call you later."
He Means: "I am not calling you cos your boobies don’t interest me at all!"

3. He Says: "My ex is crazy."
He Means: "I messed her up, and she went nuts."

4. He Says: "That guy seems like a good friend of yours."
He Means: "Was there ever a thing between you?" OR “He wants to get into bed with you!”

5. He Says: "It's a long story."
He Means: "Not telling you cos I was the jerk in the story."

6. He Says: "That's a new look."
He Means: "You look stupid."

7. He Says: "Why are you being so emotional?"
He Means: "Why are you acting like a psycho?" OR “Why are you being so unreasonable?”

8. He Says: "That's not what I meant."
He Means: "That's exactly what I meant, but now that you're mad, I wish I hadn't said it out loud."

9. He Says: "It's fine."
He Means: "It's not fine, and I don’t want to discuss it cos YOU PSYCHO is gonna scream at me the whole bloody night" OR “If I talk anymore about it, I won’t get sex!”

10. He Says: "Can we talk about this later?"
He Means: "I never want to talk about it. Let’s have sex."

Just remember men’s thinking pattern is normally in this order: Sex, talk..errr..Sex..Sex…yet again!?

Whereas the women’s thinking pattern tend to be: Talk, talk…Sex perhaps if the Talk was interesting.(unless you are Hammy 2..then it is Sex..Sex…Sex…HAHAHAHA!)

Guys, keep in mind this interesting talk versus walk fact: Just say what you mean and mean what you say…am sure we, the gentler species can take it well…*yah right!.....hahaha*

To speak or not to speak...

Recently Hammy 3 and I befriended a certain new character from the gym…*a sizzling hotzzzz and damn cute guy* (ok, hands OFF Hammy 3…this one is mine!)

(Of whom I shall call him HB for P&C purposes), he is tall, cute, porcelain-skin, damn good bod (that you can almost lick chocolate sauce off him LOL)…BUT, as the saying goes “No one is perfect”…hais…it is so proven in HB. Just when you think he is the 100%-perfecto man….till he opens his mouth…the linguistic skills is atrocious! *at this point, I clasp my hands together and ask the Lord above..”why? why?why???????*

But then again, not all is lost, cos as Hammy 3 and I discovered, we can have “linguistic-fun” with HB, especially for Hammy 3 who is …ermm, ermm..not exactly the best person when it comes to Cantonese.

Well, we tried to connect as much with HB at his linguistic level ..(cos he is so damn farking hot and I am not about to let anything like this go). And as proven in our last BlackBerry Messenger conference:

ME:Harro…Hammy 3 and HB??

HAMMY 3: Lei mou yeah chou ah?

(translation: u so free ah, nothing to do issit?)

HB: Hai lor…PB..Lei mou yeah chou ah?

(translation: yah lah…PB..u so free ah, nothing to do issit?)

ME: Wah!!! Hammy 3…lei sik kong kong tou wah?

(translation: Wah!!! Hammy 3…u can actually speak Cantonese? )

HAMMY 3: Kang hai or! Oi HB..Lei m tar han ah? Oi hoiu sik tong chan ? lei choong yi sik hoi seen mou?

(translation: of course! Oi HB, u not free issit? U wanna eat Chinese food? Do you like seafood?)

HB: Dok shu ah!

(translation: I am studying lah)

HB: yeah!!! Sik tong chan ngo oi…hoi seen toi oi!

(translation: Yeah!!! I want Chinese food…and seafood too!!!)

HAMMY 3: Dok shu? Lei m hai tar fei kei ah?

(translation: studying? U not masturbating ah?)

ME: hahahah! Hammy 3 sik kong kong fu wah!!!

(translation: hahahah! Hammy 3 can actually ‘speak’ Cantonese!!!)

HB: Ngo mou ta fei kei! Hammy 3…gay lou yau ta fei kei?

(translation: I am not masturbating lah! Hammy 3 …do gays masturbate?)

HAMMY 3:Kang hai yau ta fei kei! Ngo dei tou hai lam yan …ngo choong yi SM pong ngo tar fei kei….!hehehe

(translation: of course! We are anatomically men too…and I’d like SM to do it for mua!)

HB: eeeyeerrr…chou meh lei kam ham sap geh?

(translation : eeyeerrr….so horny!)

HAMMY 3: Ngo m ham sap…PB choong ham sap ah..HAHAHAHAAAA

(translation: I am not horny…PB is hornier…HAHAHAHAAAA)

HB: PB hui chor pin ah ..chou meh lei kam man ge?

(translation: Where are you PB? Why u so slowwwwww??)

ME: Ok guys..tis is waaayyyyy too hard for me..trying to type in Chinese !!!!!

Hmmmm….the things we do to keep our man. But nevertheless, for anything alive that hot, I would, even if it means I have to struggle thru BBM and speak-a-do-chinese!

BlackBerry! Yes, this Psycho Bitch after much persuasion from Hammy 3 decided to jump on the berry wagon. Well, promptly got myself one beautiful Beri Hitam a week ago and just absolute-farking-loving it!

But because yours truly here is I-Duh…you can all so imagine me trying to work this BlackBerry…*I mean how hard can this get, really…is supposed to be idiot proof..at least according to Hammy 3* (Glares at Hammy 3).

As I was (and still am!) trying to work around this little Berry, much was discovered along the way, amongst which were these:

1) ON OFF BUTTON – Well, my good ole sister had helped me charged it. When I took over thereafter, I could not bloody hell find the OFF button! It took me 2 days before I discovered it, cos it took me EXACTLY 2 DAYS to find out that the little BB icon is THE MENU and I can actually POWER OFF from there.

2) HOW DO I FARKING TURN ON THE NUMBERS? - And it took me at least 1 whole farking-whole-day to find out that I have to use the ALT button to do that!

3) BLACKBERRY MESSENGER PIN – this will allow you to messenger other BB users for free…not till Hammy 2 asked and it took me a good whole day looking for my BBM Pin number!!!

4) HOW DO I CAPITALISE THE BEGINNING OF MY SENTENCEs ????? – I completely lost it with this one! My sister finally showed me that so damn-farking-small button on the extreme left bottom of my BB, marked “^aA”…..*Thank you sista!!!*

5) CUT N PASTE – WOW!!! Yes, this I found out just couple of hours ago while BB Messenger with Hammy 2 and HB…yah yah..I am excited cos I can actually cut n paste on my BB! WOO HOO!!!

6) WHERE ARE MY FREAKING E MAILS? – Well, we are supposed to be able to do this – check and reply e mails from my BlackBerry….and was getting extremely frustrated..cos for a good whole 3 days, I could not do this till I called Hammy 3 who asked me this..”have you synchronized your e mails? You know the CD pack that you got when you sign up? Download it to your laptop and synchronise your e mails”

But of everything, this TOPS it all:

7) HOW DO I TURN ON THE LOUDSPEAKER ON MY BB?? ..WAIT..OR IS THERE ONE?? *Hammy 3 help!!!!*…cos till today, as I am typing this blog…I still have not found it!

This only comes to prove..how I-Duh this Psycho Bitch can be!

Know thy neighbour!

There are many reasons why people call me a Psycho Bitch *hence my blog name..duh!*.

For those of you who don’t know me or think who knows me, there are some habits of mine which may seem peculiar…*some bothering OCD…and NO, Hammy 3, I am NOT a snob!*

I am not exactly eccentric, BUT, there are some things or actions you should be weary of when around me, amongst which are:

1)DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF….AND I BLOODY MEAN IT!

Especially my work-out towel! I am happy that it just has my sweat and tears on it…I really don’t need other’s fluid of any kind on mine. It is dirty enough (I admit I sweat helluva-lot), so, pls do yourself a favour and stay away from mine!

2)DO NOT TAKE MY FOOD AWAY!

This happens very so often. You know how we hang out at restaurants and we tend to order drinks after drinks after drinks?? Well, as a point of courtesy, I think waiters MUST ALWAYS ASK if the patron is done, even if there is only one bloody drop of drink left in the glass! And trust me, Hammy 3 have seen enough of my outburst when the waiters do that …..*what the fuck do you think you are doing?? I am so not done with my drink yet!!! Call your manager here!* hahahaaaa…….

3)DO NOT PUT MY BELOVED TRAVELLING BAG ON ANY HOTEL FLOOR….or ANY FLOOR !

Do u ever ever realize how dirty hotels are? Not to mention their floors…why do you think you smell such heavy floor disinfectant? Well, in my entire life of travelling, NO ONE has ever ever dared do this to me..except for ONE instance…and I vowed never ever to stay with that person ever again!!!! No No…I am not being eccentric…it is after all a travelling bag that was still a ‘floor-virgin’ till that person ‘de-virginised’ it by placing it on the floor!

In a nut-shell, just to set the record straight:

*I am actually very friendly (Translated to: Don’t try too hard to impress me!)

*I am very straight-forward, hence often misunderstood (Translated to: If you have nothing good/smart to say, pls do not open your mouth)

*I am not eccentric (Translated to: I like everything in order and YES I am OCD…)

*I am not as fierce as I look (Translated to: YES I am as fierce as I look especially when you are not making sense)

All I am saying is this….know thy neighbor and everything will be alrighty!